If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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