turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
