operation harelip BJ is a go
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think your dad took our porno
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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