he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
