So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
