the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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