im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
