im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
