so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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