yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.