i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.