So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
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I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he just fucked me for my cheese..