I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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