this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...