Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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