It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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