Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
