Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
