Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
