well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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