Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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