I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
