6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
