remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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