dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
