Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
