I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
