Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
