yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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