hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize