Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
