he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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