it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Blow job season was short but glorious.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
