she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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