I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
they're like a gay fantastic four
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
