guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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