If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
