For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
