Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize