Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
