i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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