There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
