planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
