drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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