dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
