if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this must be what syphilis tastes like
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
