Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
