one might say we're banned from that church
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
