No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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