Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
