Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
