to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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