I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
