Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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