Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
