Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
