your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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