You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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