Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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