sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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