i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...