oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
